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Monday, September 30, 2013

READ ALL ABOUT ME

Whenever I write or tell about my life tears well in my eyes for so many reasons; happiness, self pity, awe, gratefulness, regret and other emotions. I write about myself for I have been a lesson to me and I always hope that I can be a lesson to anyone that reads about me. I tell because I want to get a message across, because I want someone, anyone out there to learn a thing or two from my life. I have learnt from our beloved prophet Muhammad (SAW), his family and companions that our lives are lessons to others; either it's good or bad.

To say it doesn't bother me that people end up discussing my personal business as a leisure topic is  a great lie but I have been giving myself immunity against "what people say". That some people feel they can ask very tiny details that really has no effect whatsoever on the gravitational force, is just something that I try not to become the Queen of Hearts over, that is scream "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS"!
Each time I get into a situation I am so sure I will never pass through successfully or alive, I find myself somehow on the other side looking back wondering "at exactly which time did I pull though that?" It has all been the Grace of God. He has told us that He will not burden a soul with more than what they can bare. I need to make myself never ever forget this for indeed, I am here today after a terrible life in school, hard times during marriage, pregnancy, delivery, divorce, drug addiction, and so many other issues that now seem so trivial.
I am here today, on September 4th, 2013 I turned 30 years old, by Allah's Grace and Mercy! That for me is an amazing achievement, every reason to be thankful and forever unable to show the right amount of gratitude. These are a couple of reasons; I have a beautiful, healthy daughter, I have a caring mother, I have a system of 'supportive' colleagues, I have friends, I have my mental, physical, psychological and emotional health all in great condition. I don't think I need to look any further. I still act very human-ish; complain and be ungrateful a lot of times and other bad habits too but I am working on them now I pray I can accomplish something very soon In Shaa Allah.
Some very "private" revelations has helped a lot of people open up about their problems similar to mine or even different. It has helped me chose the path I really want to be on. All I need do is pray over it and keep trying my best. I have promised myself anyone that comes to me for help through my stories, I will not turn my back on them so long as I know I can help or can lead them to a path that will surely help them. May Allah make it possible for all of us to be each other's keeper's without having to boast or brag about it. Ameen ameen.