Well, the title sounds like I'm about to make y'all read on marriage or weddings and stuff related to marriage or weddings but I'm not and I'm sorry I misled you *offers apology snacks, food, hugs or drinks as the case may apply*
Generally most people assume I'm an "I've got my life in order, a clear perspective, go-getter, I know what I want and a very keep-it-together girl" but I'm not. I mean, yes I do know what I want, for the most part lakin what I want isn't always what I get or have so I make do with what I have. You know, life...lemons.
When I was in level three, back in 2005/2006, I wanted and hoped to the highest heavens that I'd be hit by an oncoming vehicle and be killed. Suicidal thoughts, it's called. I tried explaining it as I'm not thinking of killing myself but I just hope something kills me and very fast too. It's still suicidal, they said. I was tired, unmotivated and felt very worthless. To be honest that feeling has never really left me and I seem to trust people, men, who fuel the worthless feeling and ladies who take advantage of it but I've known my lady friends now and I have less of those advantage takers around, Alhamdulillah.
So, I have Daddy issues which has made me have a very disastrously poor judgement of the kind of man I deserve to be with. I love my Daddy, you can think otherwise but you still need to know. He's the reason I'm around and he has tried to be there for me, my sisters and mother the best way he knew how to.
My Daddy is a Marine Engineer and a very, very, Veryyyyyy excellent one. He can tell an engine (generator) is faulty just by the sound and he can tell you which from among a hundred blaring at the same time! He's awesome at his job. He's very intelligent too. He loves to read; had loads of books on stuff that I have no patience to remember right now. He read newspapers daily. Bought Daily Times, Vanguard and one other which, yes, I can't be bothered to recall! I remember after my level 2 exams I returned home for the holidays and I was telling him how worried I was that I'd fail Biochemistry and he smiled and said, "No you won't. I was very good in biochemistry so I think you are too." Then guess what?! He went on to teach me about polypeptides and pathways and those calculations in biochem...people, I was embarrassed at myself. I couldn't recall any single thing I just kept nodding my head like a lizard! He did this about 40 YEARS ago and me, well I did it about 40 DAYS ago! So yeah, shame on me!!!!! He knows arithmetic (how he calls mathematics) so well SO VERY WELL according to him and a former colleague of his, he was called M.C. Durrell in their days because apparently, that was the name of the author of their arithmetic textbook..... I'm sweating writing about him *gulps water to avoid dehydration*.
Daddy was hardly around during our growing up years, his job took him to all parts of the world for very long periods. Remember NNSL, Nigerian National Shipping Line? He was among the pioneers of that very beautiful ship. What of MV Abuja? (where MV means Moving Vessel) he was among those who went to bring it to Nigeria from Poland. He invited us to his cabin. So cosy, beautiful and lovely. That ship was very amazing and it's such a shame she had to end up in ruins! He took my late younger sister and I forgot r a tour right down to the basement of the ship, the engine room. He called it his Home! He expected me to know the technical names of a ship; you know, deck, starboard etc because, I was in Nigerian Navy Secondary School and we were actually taught those terms in JSS 1 Naval Studies but I wasn't paying attention. I never did pay attention to anything in JS1, honestly speaking. Anyways, it was a lovely weekend with him.
Daddy was there through out my primary to secondary school transition. He took me for my common entrance examination which took place in Queen's College, Yaba, Lagos. It rained that day. He filled my application form for Nigerian Navy Secondary Schools and he wrote my surname as Umaru which is how he spells his and I remember being very upset telling him I want to be Umar and him saying there's no way Father and Daughter can have different spellings of their names. I didn't talk to him all day! He was so proud of me when I got the Navy admission.
When I gave birth to Aisha, he was so excited. When I went back home after my divorce he was supportive, understanding and kind. He helped with Aisha when he could. Daddy calls me on 9th or sometimes 23rd September singing the Happy Birthday song and it amuses me so I haven't had the heart to tell him it's on 4th September... It's love *falling hearts* plus, that he remembers it's in September is a very big deal too!
When Mona was down and needed blood transfusion, he was there for her and I remember very clearly him saying to her "If you need more than my blood I will give it to you. So don't ever worry about anything anytime it comes to your health." He was also very proud of her when she got her Navy admission as well. Although he didn't handle her last days very well, he seemed to be absent and when he was present he had misunderstandings with the nursing staff. No, *smh* he didn't handle it well. Then she died. He didn't handle the condolence visits well either, which actually later made Maama laugh when she remembered.
Daddy stayed with Amina when she had her psychological issues although he never believed it was medical which is really quite something because our Maama kept telling him it was medical and he kept insisting it was spiritual... Well, we know who won!
Men, listen to your wives. They know stuff you'll never know!
Daddy's story is my Something New; I've never written about him.
Daddy is my Something Blue; sometimes he makes me sad (blue) and sometimes he makes me happy (blue is my favorite and calming colour).
Daddy is my Something Old; I've had him all my life plus he's old.
Daddy is my Something Borrowed; I know he was given to me for a short while only.
