FatUm
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
SEPTEMBER: SURGERY IN SICKLE CELL
SEPTEMBER: HARASSED WHILE HELPLESS
Saturday, September 1, 2018
SEPTEMBER
Do you know Sickle Cell Disorder is one of the highest genetically inherited blood disorder?
Thanks to some very lovely persons, I will be posting different experiences of patients and relatives of sickle cell patients through out September. In no particular order of days and their names will be interchanged for privacy purposes.
God bless you <3
Tuesday, July 17, 2018
MINE IS NINE
Like always my beautiful chocolate cake, I love you and will love you forever, always till my last breath. You are my priceless Princess <3
Sunday, July 23, 2017
SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BLUE, SOMETHING OLD AND SOMETHING BORROWED
Well, the title sounds like I'm about to make y'all read on marriage or weddings and stuff related to marriage or weddings but I'm not and I'm sorry I misled you *offers apology snacks, food, hugs or drinks as the case may apply*
Generally most people assume I'm an "I've got my life in order, a clear perspective, go-getter, I know what I want and a very keep-it-together girl" but I'm not. I mean, yes I do know what I want, for the most part lakin what I want isn't always what I get or have so I make do with what I have. You know, life...lemons.
When I was in level three, back in 2005/2006, I wanted and hoped to the highest heavens that I'd be hit by an oncoming vehicle and be killed. Suicidal thoughts, it's called. I tried explaining it as I'm not thinking of killing myself but I just hope something kills me and very fast too. It's still suicidal, they said. I was tired, unmotivated and felt very worthless. To be honest that feeling has never really left me and I seem to trust people, men, who fuel the worthless feeling and ladies who take advantage of it but I've known my lady friends now and I have less of those advantage takers around, Alhamdulillah.
So, I have Daddy issues which has made me have a very disastrously poor judgement of the kind of man I deserve to be with. I love my Daddy, you can think otherwise but you still need to know. He's the reason I'm around and he has tried to be there for me, my sisters and mother the best way he knew how to.
My Daddy is a Marine Engineer and a very, very, Veryyyyyy excellent one. He can tell an engine (generator) is faulty just by the sound and he can tell you which from among a hundred blaring at the same time! He's awesome at his job. He's very intelligent too. He loves to read; had loads of books on stuff that I have no patience to remember right now. He read newspapers daily. Bought Daily Times, Vanguard and one other which, yes, I can't be bothered to recall! I remember after my level 2 exams I returned home for the holidays and I was telling him how worried I was that I'd fail Biochemistry and he smiled and said, "No you won't. I was very good in biochemistry so I think you are too." Then guess what?! He went on to teach me about polypeptides and pathways and those calculations in biochem...people, I was embarrassed at myself. I couldn't recall any single thing I just kept nodding my head like a lizard! He did this about 40 YEARS ago and me, well I did it about 40 DAYS ago! So yeah, shame on me!!!!! He knows arithmetic (how he calls mathematics) so well SO VERY WELL according to him and a former colleague of his, he was called M.C. Durrell in their days because apparently, that was the name of the author of their arithmetic textbook..... I'm sweating writing about him *gulps water to avoid dehydration*.
Daddy was hardly around during our growing up years, his job took him to all parts of the world for very long periods. Remember NNSL, Nigerian National Shipping Line? He was among the pioneers of that very beautiful ship. What of MV Abuja? (where MV means Moving Vessel) he was among those who went to bring it to Nigeria from Poland. He invited us to his cabin. So cosy, beautiful and lovely. That ship was very amazing and it's such a shame she had to end up in ruins! He took my late younger sister and I forgot r a tour right down to the basement of the ship, the engine room. He called it his Home! He expected me to know the technical names of a ship; you know, deck, starboard etc because, I was in Nigerian Navy Secondary School and we were actually taught those terms in JSS 1 Naval Studies but I wasn't paying attention. I never did pay attention to anything in JS1, honestly speaking. Anyways, it was a lovely weekend with him.
Daddy was there through out my primary to secondary school transition. He took me for my common entrance examination which took place in Queen's College, Yaba, Lagos. It rained that day. He filled my application form for Nigerian Navy Secondary Schools and he wrote my surname as Umaru which is how he spells his and I remember being very upset telling him I want to be Umar and him saying there's no way Father and Daughter can have different spellings of their names. I didn't talk to him all day! He was so proud of me when I got the Navy admission.
When I gave birth to Aisha, he was so excited. When I went back home after my divorce he was supportive, understanding and kind. He helped with Aisha when he could. Daddy calls me on 9th or sometimes 23rd September singing the Happy Birthday song and it amuses me so I haven't had the heart to tell him it's on 4th September... It's love *falling hearts* plus, that he remembers it's in September is a very big deal too!
When Mona was down and needed blood transfusion, he was there for her and I remember very clearly him saying to her "If you need more than my blood I will give it to you. So don't ever worry about anything anytime it comes to your health." He was also very proud of her when she got her Navy admission as well. Although he didn't handle her last days very well, he seemed to be absent and when he was present he had misunderstandings with the nursing staff. No, *smh* he didn't handle it well. Then she died. He didn't handle the condolence visits well either, which actually later made Maama laugh when she remembered.
Daddy stayed with Amina when she had her psychological issues although he never believed it was medical which is really quite something because our Maama kept telling him it was medical and he kept insisting it was spiritual... Well, we know who won!
Men, listen to your wives. They know stuff you'll never know!
Daddy's story is my Something New; I've never written about him.
Daddy is my Something Blue; sometimes he makes me sad (blue) and sometimes he makes me happy (blue is my favorite and calming colour).
Daddy is my Something Old; I've had him all my life plus he's old.
Daddy is my Something Borrowed; I know he was given to me for a short while only.
Monday, July 17, 2017
GREAT EIGHT
So, this year we did the celebration a lot earlier than we usually do, we had it on Saturday 15th July, 2017 for so many family reasons which we are still thankful for. The day turned out beautiful mostly because you were happy and excited. the welcome run and hug I got from you *melts away with love* let all the days of stress-worrying and planning pay off. Alhamdulillah!
So, both aunt Amina (my sister and Mummy's sister) were present, their kids, aunt Zainab and Sa'a's kids too as well as my in-law from Amina's side, aunt Nasira with her kids. Tariq was there too, of course and Daddy's soldiers were present. Mummy made very tasty fried rice, snacks, drinks and salad to celebrate the occasion, to be honest, our tummy's were very much happy too *chuckles*.
Even though we had to rush the event due to late arrival and need to depart early for distance and safety reasons, we all had a great time; singing the Happy Birthday song, watching you blow out your figure 8 candle and cut the cake! You radiated joy!!!
Again, I love you. We all do. You bring us together, make us all happy and teach us how to remain strong even when it seems bleak. May Allah always be your strength, comfort and guide. May He always keep you safe, protected and guided onto the right path and may your Imaan grow daily as you grow and mature into a smarter and more beautiful young girl. AMEEN!!!!!
Sunday, June 18, 2017
JUNE 19; IN SICKLE CELL DISORDER AND IN HEALTH
Yes, so, if you've read my last post, you'll remember I wrote about my experience and how I've been having constant bone pain aka sickle cell crises ... I can't remember, did I write on that or just the PTSD? Please don't make me read my post *BBM crying emoji* Anyways, I have been having recurring SC crises and I've been put on basically all the analgesics there is to be put on; from the ones that make me slightly dizzy and drowsy and sleepy to the ones that out right make me a drunken person who has never taken alcohol to point of being drunk. Yes please. I have taken alcohol, as a kid, when all those scammers would come to desperate mother's of sickle cell patients and tell them take such and such it will CURE sickle cell in three months and the poor blessed mother's would obey. Not being medical or scientific to understand that diseases of the genes can only ever be cured through the genes or never cured at all. But, again, I'm swerving *does Fast and Furious swerving back to original lane* ;) and some of those analgesics gave me severe stomach aches and I believe a bit of dependence on them for when I stop taking I get headaches. Headaches from Hades in the down under world! I think I need a new head, a new GI system or a new self, I wouldn't mind! Pretty please!? *Doe eyed*
The aches (crises) made me visit the accident and emergency of AKTH a lot and I got pricked a lot and my once very good and vibrant veins which used pink cannula began to disappear and then I degraded to blue and now I use the yellow and even with that, the Dr's complain that the needle on the yellow are much, much larger than any visible, useful vein. Word of advice, in your daily thanks to the Lord, be thankful for your veins! It started taking long hours and more than one Dr who gives it more than 3 tries to get a line. Sometimes we opt for IM analgesic before a line is set so as to ease my pain. It started to take a toll on me psychologically, I could feel it but no one could, I've become so good at masking my depression it's a wonder I'm not fully ... Alhamdulillah! I hang on and find joy in distant love that is pure and will never die, hopefully. I think of how our beloved Prophet (SAW) endured so much but was a comfort to others and I say to myself "Girl! You whine too much! Appreciate what you have before that's gone too!" And damn right that's what I do! Plus I cry a GREAT deal, forget about the ones you THINK you've seen, you ain't seen NOTHING and you ain't gonna see too! It helps ease some of the burdens I feel I carry alone!
On a very lovely Saturday or was it Sunday, I can't recall, Dr AD Waziri came to visit, and, yes I've mentioned it in my last post but, tough! He saw as far as his medical haematological expert eye would allow him see, that I was looking awful and needed help and he said I needed to start Hydroxyurea, I did. I have not regretted listening to him. I feel more energetic and probably less loco *LOL* could it be that it has effect on the psyche as well? That would be great, truly. Especially since its side effects are a lot. A very, very lot!
So, I'm on hydroxy and I haven't had crises in three months just one three days back (June 16) probably stress from exam or something. Twasn't so severe but it was aching and disturbing. Although I still experience headaches and that's another story for another time.
Is it a #Happy #WorldSickleCellDay or JUST a #WorldSickleCellDay? I really dunno and honestly don't care! Everyday to a sickle cell patient IS World Sickle Cell Day. We seem to be increasing in number in as much as we definitely are dying in multitudes as well. Sickle Cell is not on the top 10 list of Non-Communicable Diseases and yes, I know it's a Hereditary Disease but then...I'm tired of arguing!